FAKE FUNBAGS FIX EVERYTHING!
Something to be proud of?
I’ve always seen Amy Winehouse as the antidote to Jessica Simpson and her kind – those homogenised little blondes out there doing the talk show circuit to spruik whatever multi-talentless shit they’re peddling in a rehearsed and giggly manner. Winehouse was different, she had talent, she had personality. She was real, she was wrong and she was interesting. To wit, I could handle the struggle with drugs and toxic relationships, it’s always been part of the whole tortured artist deal. But she’s crossed a line now.
Back to Black was an enormous success both critically and financially. Amy was lauded as the Etta James of her generation and now she’s gone all Jordan on our asses. What does that say about her and this famewhoring generation? If Etta James were around today would she want to get the Tara Reid special? Would she try to emulate Jenna Jamieson?
Talented people don’t need a gimmick.
The argument of the pro fake tata movement is that they increase a womans confidence. Many a scantily clad skank in the public eye mouths on and on about how she got them “for myself”. They buy into the capitalist theory that anything you can buy which increases your confidence is a good thing but this is clearly untrue. Not everything you do is worthy of pride and praise. Being confident about something you really shouldn’t be confident about is fucked in the head – just ask the guy at work who prides himself on telling the best racist jokes. Also we all know they’re fake. Her dad told us (all together now “Ewwwwww”). The internet is a buzz with people making fun of her for the “upgrade”. How does that increase a persons confidence? That’s a band aid for someone with bigger than DD sized issues.
The look on her face irks me the most. She looks like she feels proud, sexy and attractive. Can she really be that deluded? And if so how could she write intelligent, insightful songs anymore? I hope her silicone life rafts have done what they were supposed to and we get a chance to find out.
- Tara Steven-Seagal. Copyright 2009 ©
