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MICHAEL JACKSON DRINKING WITH MIDGETS

18 Jan

This is how I want to remember Michael Jackson

Say what you will about him. Talk him up like he was some kind of benevolent musical God or trash him for the alleged kiddy fiddling and the 97 different kinds of crazy but at least once (that we know of) a still black Michael Jackson drank vodka straight outta the bottle, in a park, flanked by lady midgets. That’s enough to make my day.

– Tara Steven Seagal

I’M SORRY, WHAT? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME TWILIGHT IS ABOUT VAMPIRISM?

3 Sep

“Twilight is a poignant account of one boy’s struggle with narcissistic personality disorder and debilitating mental illness. We are introduced to the main protagonist Edward Cullen as he twitches at his school desk after rubbing himself with baking soda and ground chalk.  The tearjerker scene where he  plays Clair De Lune on a piano, surrounded by dry ice is an art house homage to late 1980’s and early 90’s Guns N’ Roses rock videos and is arguably the greatest cinematic depiction of a “delusions of grandeur” spell ever caught on celluloid, up there with Cassavetes’ Mabel Longhetti from A Woman Under The Influence…”

–  Tristan Black – Chicago Sun Newspaper Film Review

He’s Just Not That Into You Because…

18 Jul

He's Just Not That Into You Because...